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Gas Pump Talk: The 3 Stooges Go Shopping, Building the Perfect Car, and More

In our inaugural episode of Gas Pump Talk, our three contributors talk straight cars. This week, we’re going window shopping, going on auto dealership websites and picking out the best vehicle we would want with a set budget, building our dream car, and talking about American Muscle. Our stooges for this week are Yuva Chandana, Chris Claybon, and Lucas Kist. To start off, I gave us a limit of $5,000 to find something to mess around and whatever money is left, you get to use on modifications:

Yuva: Y’all just won $5,000 in the lottery, which car are you gonna buy?

Chris (not being able to read): $5,000?

Lucas: BMW 330 cl or a Lincoln Town Car

Y: Why a Town Car? You going to pull all the grannies in the area?

L: To drive it around?

Y: You gotta pick the most fun car, unless you’re into picking up cougars at the local strip mall

C: A Pontiac Aztek and demolish it

Y: 1.) That sounds like a blast, 2.) you’d still have like $4,999 left

L: Maybe I’d get like an old Fox Body Mustang, or one from the 90’s… that would be fun!

Bring A Trailer (BaT)

This Mustang sold on Bring A Trailer, it’s the closest one we found

C: For like a little more than five grand you can start getting into the more fun stuff

Y: Alright fine. I’ll give you $10,000… spend as much of it as you want and whatever’s left you get to use on modifications

C: 2006 E500 Wagon is about 9k, I’d lower it with the rest of the money. 302 horsepower and a V8, you can’t exactly go too wrong.

C: I would get the E55 Wagon but those are rare and quite pricey.

This 2006 Wagon with just north of 100k miles is up for sale for $9,985

L: I’d probably take this Miata:

This Miata has pretty low miles for just under 10k, buyer beware: there are plenty of scuffs and other gremlins on the exterior

Y: Lucas, you’re a literal giant, how in the world would you ever fit inside one of these?

L: It’s a decent option- it’s a fun car, not really a fast one

Y: I will say, you can’t really go wrong with a Miata. Those miles are really low for one, good find.

Y: What do y’all think of a Taurus SHO or an Impala SS?

L: Love the SHO and the SS, very unsuspecting sleeper cars

This Impala is beat on the outside and has high miles, but for 5 grand, who’s complaining? It’s cheap fun and a V8

L: V8 for 6k? Can’t complain

Y: You can also get some old VW Rabbits or a BMW wagon

C: BMW wagon would be dope

L: Anything under like 10 and especially 5 will have to be a project car

Y: Now I’m gonna give you $20,000. There’s one requirement, it has to at least have 350 horsepower or run a 0-60 in under 5.5 seconds

Y: I think y’all will have a ton of fun with this

L: Mustang GT 5.0

Y: I think my Corvette is off the market…

This is a ‘Stang I can get behind, low miles, and $15,000? For a manual 5.0 L V8? Oh yeah, I’m jealous

L: There’s so many options, 2012 BMW 550i is another good one

Y: My worry there is the reliability of those engines, especially when you start to dig in those lower prices

C: My dad says 2010 E63

Y: Can’t disappoint Papa Clayb

This E63 AMG has a bit of high miles, but with right maintenance it’ll last you long

Y: E63 Wagon or Sedan?

C: Sedan, wagons are more expensive

Y: How much are RX-7s?

L: That’s a no-go, they’re super unreliable with the rotary and shred through oil

Y: True, I saw this one video where a guy swapped out the rotary for a Type R engine. You could also get E46 wagons and Ford Focus STs

Time to Build Our Perfect Car

C: I want y’all to build your dream car, you can source parts from any company

Y: I’d take the LS6 engine with a Lingenfelter supercharger, body from a Viper, it’s super menacing and it has one of the lowest drag coefficients to date, I also like the Viper interior for what it is. I’d upgrade safety and convenience features to modernize it, probably pulled from Cadillac, I love their new SuperCruise system.

Y: Michelin Pilot Sport Cups and RTR Carbon Fiber wheels. Gotham matte black or a Nassau Blue for the color.

C: Alfa Romeo 4C body, CLA AMG 45 motor (382 HP out of 4 cylinders), Porsche 8-speed PDK, and Porsche brakes, and the simple interior of the Tesla Model Y we just tested.

Y: Alfa Romeo?? I always knew you were a Jeremy Clarkson fan

C: It’s a near perfect car

L: Chris your car is perfect, better than anything I could have thought of

Y: Am I just an American Muscle punk?

C: I’ve been dreaming about driving something like that since I could drive

L: Everything in your car is American so yes

Y: I’ll admit, Chris’s car is pretty dapper

C: The 4C could be more powerful, but it’s a car meant for handling so I didn’t want to overdo it.

Y: Packaging issues is also something to think about

C: That’s why I kept 4 cylinders and a slightly smaller displacement

Y: Finally, pick one American Muscle car from 2000 to now

Y: I’d go with a C7 Corvette or a CTS-V, great bargains for the price, a defining feature of American Muscle, along with their glorious pushrod engines

C: Dodge Demon, literally what American Muscle is supposed to be with the widebody.

Thank you for reading the first edition of Gas Pump Talk, regular workplaces have water cooler talk, we make it more awesome. See what we’re up to next week, it’ll probably be something stupid.


Gas Pump Talk

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